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1975 Bricklin SV1 (Safety Vehicle 1)-

I guess some folks could have gotten a clue by the name Brick-lin, that this supposed sport scar was not quite a nimble on its feet as the smooth talking car’s creator, Malcolm Bricklin would have liked us all to believe it was. Many folks have tried to compare this with the slow corvettes, due to its high price range, but it was not quite as performance oriented.

To this, Bricklin would just say something like, “Well, it is not supposed to be fast, it is supposed to be safe.” And if you are among the school of slow is safe, then maybe he was right. But the car was more than just slow, it featured gullwing doors, which was supposed to be easier to exit. No ashtray or lighter… to keep people safe and healthy. And it was made of a hard plastic outer shell that could resist dents and scratches.

What truly made this thing a brick, was the hundreds of pounds of excess steel that went into the reinforced compressible bumpers. To help pull this behemoth across the finish line, Bricklin called for the help of Ford. More specifically, the Ford 351 Windsor. The Windsor rumbled at idle, just like an American muscle car should, but when the foot was floored and the two-barrel carburetor was set loose, the Bricklin shot off like a sloth snoring in the trees.

A typical quarter mile run with the Bricklin would be near the 17 second mark at around 80 mph. If you get a strong rear wind on a clear day, the Bricklin could reach the top speed of 118 mph. 4,000 rpm was about the engines peak breathing capability, as the lowly two barrel was unable to feed the 351 cubic inch engine much more fuel beyond that point unfortunately.

1981 DeLorean DMC-12-

The best quote we have ever heard from a customer who was describing the DeLorean is, “Like a Ferrari, only slow and boring…” This just about sums up the DeLorean in as few words as possible. Like the Bricklin, the DMC-12 had gullwing doors, original styling, brick-like performance, but more than all this, it had a starring role in a 3 featured movie blockbusters, Back to the Future, which is where its main fame could be said to have been claimed.

Instead of the plastic body parts, DMC went all out and sprung for classy stainless steel. This also made the car relatively rust and scratch proof… but if you had any major damage, you couldn’t just slap some bondo on it and call it the day.

The biggest shortcoming of the DeLorean was the engine. The movie tried to cover this up by dubbing the sound of a V-8 over the wimpy whine of the actual 2.8 liter V6. The cars designer, John DeLorean had envisioned a small displacement sports car with no less than 200 horsepower, which would have been livable.

Instead, John settled on 170 horsepower to make life easier on him. What he hadn’t considered in his figurings was the power robbing inconvenience of emission regulations and catalytic converters, which ended up tearing the engine down to around 128 horsepower. This put the DeLorean in the 0-60 snore range of 9 to 10 seconds. And thus a car with so much potential, was snubbed and left as a Corvette appetizer…

The history pages are full of cool cars that were hardly capable of blowing an ant off the tire tread at wot (wide open throttle). We proudly present some of the more notable models.

1978 Mustang King Cobra-

With a name like King Cobra, you’d think this Ford Mustang would have been a screamer. It came with a spoiler, fender flares, decals up the wazzoo, a hood scoop, t-tops (like the Trans Am), and an impressive 5.0 liter emblem on the hood to let everyone know that you meant business.

Unbeknown to some, the only business you were truthfully going to be up to with the 129 horsepower 302 cubic inch engine, is slow business… very slow business! The King Cobra was of course back in the days when the government was beginning to tighten down on manufacturers to reduce emissions and improve fuel economy (CAFE standards), so the 5.0 only received a tiny 2-barrel carburetor, a measly 8.4:1 compression ratio, and one single exhaust pipe, which they tried to pass off with a chrome tip.

To achieve reduced smog, the King Cobra received an EGR (exhaust gas recirculation) valve, PCV (positive crankcase ventilation) valve, and single catalytic converter to go with its single exhaust pipe. Despite Ford’s efforts, the King Cobra still only received about 17 mpg breathing out of a blocked straw.

These are classics and sure do look performance oriented, but if you like performance to go along with your go-fast looks, then this is one Mustang Cobra that would best be left on the used showroom floor. The new 2008 Shelby Cobra with 500 horsepower 5.4 liter will be much more to your liking…

1969 Porsche 914-

The Porsche 914 was Porsche’s version of a sports car for the poor folk. These were the kind of folk who wanted the Porsche symbol, yet didn’t mind the Volkswagen performance and boxy looks. While this car has received its share of brownie points over the course of its existence, if you were to buy one now and take it out on a Saturday night cruise, you’d be left at just about every stop light by mom’s in their mini vans and dad’s in their Mazda Miata’s.

While the car was a mid-engine configuration, which has always made for a nicely balanced race car, the 4-cylinder that Volkswagen provided was among the same prowess as the infamous 69 beetle and hill challenged Volkswagen hippie van.

You did have a few choices of engines, ranging from slow, really slow, and appallingly slow. These choices are better known as the 1.7 liter with 80 horsepower, the 1.8 liter with 79 horsepower, and the 2.0 liter with 95 horsepower, all with a five-speed manual gearbox which was standard on all models.

These are classics, but to today’s standards they certainly do not live up to what the name Porsche has come to be known!

One of the worst things that could happen between your close relationship with your favorite vehicle is to walk out one day and find that your little buddy is not quite where you left him or her. After wandering around the neighborhood for an hour or so, you will finally come to the realization that unless you have been forgetting to make your car payment over the past six months, your vehicle has probably been stolen… something that none of us ever wants to experience.

We already covered the topic of vehicle theft prevention towards the beginning of this summer, but we realize that we missed a few items of importance:

• Never place an insurance card or registration in your vehicle- Not only does this make it easy for the thief to turn a quick profit from your vehicle, or possibly even squirm their way out of being caught by the authorities, it can set you up for identity theft. In the olden days we were always taught to keep our insurance and registration in the car at all times, but today we are told to keep it with us, either in a wallet or purse.
• Park in such a way to make your vehicle difficult to steal- For those instances when the thief is not planning to hotwire your vehicle, they sometimes just hook it up to a tow truck and haul it away. One of the best ways to discourage this is to set your vehicle up so that it us not an easy target.
  • This can be done by locking your wheels towards the curb, when you are parking on the street. This makes it quite difficult to pull your vehicle, as it will lock itself against the curb.
  • In a parking lot, it is best to back a rear-wheel-drive car into a parking space, or park front first if you have a front-wheel-drive vehicle. This locks the wheel facing away from the tow truck, so if they lift the end facing out away from the parking spot and try to move the vehicle, the wheels will just lock up and drag.
  • The same thing goes for applying your parking brake when you are leaving your vehicle unattended. This will drag the wheels and make trying to tow your vehicle away difficult. These ideas are all kind of like not putting deodorant on when you go to a singles bar… they will make your vehicle a little bit less desireable…
• Use an Ignition or fuel immobilizer system- These are great for vehicles that are among the top 10 most stolen. These either immobilize your vehicle through the ignition or fuel. It basically adds the obstacle of needing to flip a hidden switch before the vehicle can be made functional. If you are afraid that the thief will eventually find your switch, which if they are given enough time, they probably will, they have a different version that actually allows the thief to start the vehicle and drive it a little ways before a fuse is blown and the vehicle stops. By this time, the thief will most likely ditch the vehicle, rather than spend the time looking for the switch and a fuse.
• Use as Lojack device- These are theft recovery transmitting devices that help the authorities track down a stolen vehicle by giving them a way locate your vehicle no matter where it may be headed or hiding. The effectiveness of such devices will be limited to how well you can hide the transmitter to give the police enough time to locate your vehicle before the thief discovers the device and ditches it elsewhere.

Don’t wait around for tragedy to strike before you implement one of these ideas to your own car. 1 in 190 vehicles are stolen and it happens every single day, in every city, town, parking lot, street corner, or business. A little bit of precaution can go a long way when it comes to keeping your vehicle where it should be… in your possession!